The Other Side of Normal: How Biology Is Providing the Clues to Unlock the Secrets of Normal and Abnormal Behavior by Jordan Smoller

Author:Jordan Smoller [Smoller, Jordan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Developmental, Life Sciences, Psychology, Science, Biology, General, Personality
ISBN: 9780062101334
Google: g-qjBX7PZVgC
Publisher: Harper Collins
Published: 2012-05-08T00:00:00+00:00

DYS-TRUST

“WHY SHOULD I TRUST ANYONE?” SANDRA’S QUESTION BECAME A focus of our discussions over the next several months. I encouraged her to reengage in therapy and had given her several referrals, but she never followed through. What was standing in the way? I asked. “I’ve had it,” she said. She had come to see her relationships, including those with her therapists, as a series of disappointments and betrayals. In her early twenties, she had hooked up with a man named Mark, whom she’d met at a club. She was wary of getting involved, and the more time they spent together, the more fearful she became. She was almost paralyzed by a sense that she was going to do something that he’d use as an excuse to leave her.

But it didn’t happen and “after a while, I let my guard down and I let myself fall in love.” Everything was fine at first. He seemed genuinely interested and would listen and comfort her when she was upset. One day they came up with a business idea—he was a talented chef and she knew some people in the food industry, and they decided to launch a business catering for parties. Unfortunately, that was a catalyst for conflict. They argued and fought about almost everything, with Sandra often erupting into angry outbursts, accusing him of devaluing her ideas and treating her like a child. Finally, Mark told her he couldn’t take it anymore and ended the relationship. She was devastated and her anguish took the form of relentlessly hounding him and demanding he explain why he had lied to her and used her.

In Sandra’s mind, Mark had made promises he never intended to keep. When he cut off all communication with her, she upped the ante. She sent him an angry e-mail that included a threat to sue him. And then she took a knife and cut up her forearms. She called Mark to tell him what he’d made her do, but he didn’t answer the phone. And so she paged her therapist, who convinced her to go to the emergency room.

The next crisis happened a few years later. Her therapist at the time had apparently tried to make Sandra feel secure by encouraging her to call anytime if she needed to. She had even given Sandra her home phone number. As Sandra told it, the therapist became more of a friend than a therapist. Sandra did feel a sense of calm knowing that her therapist was always available. But one night, Sandra was feeling lonely and was ruminating about whether “alone” would be her fate forever. She began to feel panicky. She picked up the phone and called her therapist. But there was no answer. She left a distraught message, asking her therapist to call immediately. As one hour and then another passed, Sandra became overwhelmed. She began drinking and then began cutting. Finally, she called an ambulance and by the next morning, she was in the hospital. “Now do you see

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